oh god the rape fog is back!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
