I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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