D3 body, D1 cock
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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