i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
