love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
