So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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