Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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