i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
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after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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