the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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