Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
