Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
