on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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