Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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