don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He called his prostate his "boner button".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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