I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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