So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
