she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
