when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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