Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
