You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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