i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
