That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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