No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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