508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
