She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
