Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
