I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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