i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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