you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
