either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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