bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize