Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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