you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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