shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
