SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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