isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
