I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
