I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
