There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nicole vs. Life
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
