I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize