well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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