What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
