Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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