Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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