they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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