went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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