It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
