In the future we'll all be gay
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
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Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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