I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize