Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
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just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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