you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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