My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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