i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
