Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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