i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
