I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
