John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.