u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...