I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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